How not to mine for diamonds at Iguazu Falls
- glenmarsocci
- May 17
- 9 min read
Updated: 6 days ago
There are no diamond mines at Iguazu Falls but much like Bitcoin you actually can mine diamonds from almost anywhere. It’s Spring here in DC. All the trees come back to life and leaves start to sprout all around closing in our little backyard oasis so that visually it only belongs to us. I’ve come to use gardening as therapy. So, I’m out there a lot pruning and planting. By the way, what’s more satisfying than weed pulling? In an instant what was chaos now restored to flower bed bliss!
Anyway, one of my partners tasks is to reinstall the pump in our little fountain. It’s just a trickle of a thing but it reminds me of the adventure to Iguazu Falls. The falls are a sight to behold even if at the time we arrived it was throwing maybe less water over the cliff than our little water fountain.
Brazil, more specifically Rio, is a dynamic destination and it’s where we began our journey. It was to end in the rainforest at Iguazu Falls. Coincidentally it would also be my birthday.
Let’s set foot on the journey! Landing in a foreign city affords the car enthusiasts an extra free tour that no-one else receives. Outside the airport, inside the transfer van window, I gaze out into the unknown car world buzzed very closely by alien vehicles with new looks and strange names. Even other entire species we cannot drive here in America. Some in the car world call it forbidden fruit. Inside these spaceships, regular people like anywhere else in the world hurrying to work or zooming to an appointment, late no doubt! The traffic is dense there in the morning. One day I will import a Citroen or a BYD. A twenty-five-year wait is all the US requires if you would like to drive an alien craft on American soil.
We arrive from the transfer at the Copacabana Palace, A Belmond Hotel. A sight to behold with history all its own. You never forget how your first pair of Castañer espadrilles feel hitting the black and white mosaics undulating down the throughfare along La Playa. Wait, that’s Spanish not Portuguese. Don’t get me going! Just when I grasp a bit of Spanish, they send you to South America except it’s not. They speak Portuguese there. Just close enough to Spanish to get you in trouble. My take away…Abrogado. It means thank you. I said it to everyone. It’s never wrong to be polite.
The first place we called home was the Copacabana Palace. A stunning piece of architecture built in 1923 by a French architect Joseph Gire. It has hosted generations of celebrities and important people. Imagine bumping into Walt Disney in the elevator, Jayne Mansfield sunning at the hotels private access beach just steps across the main road. Or maybe even catching a glimpse of Princess Diana in the main dining area. Marc Jacobs happened to be staying there the same time we were. I remember the breakfast buffet as a stellar assortment of beautifully prepared dishes spread across what seemed like miles.
Our room was large and beautifully decorated. The view was of the beach from one side and the mountains tucked in just behind on the other side. The room was the kind of large you just don’t find anymore. Designed when hotels weren’t trying to squeeze a dollar out of every square inch.
We spent our short time in Rio doing a behind the scenes Carnival experience. A guided tour visits the bandstands and some warehouses to see the floats and costumes which were of course are outrageously over the top usual experience.
We relaxed on the private beach one day. The sand soft and white, the water just rough enough to keep you interested and the people watching is some of the best I’ve ever seen. If you are in the market for a BBL (Google it), here is the place to view the goods. Make sure you visit any one of the beachside cafes to have a Caipirinha - like a mojito but made with cachaça, a liquor made of fermented sugar cane. Be careful when you stand, the Brazilians like a heavy pour.
We explored Sugarloaf Mountain which is a mountain peak you climb by way of a two separate cable car rides which affords you the most panoramic views of the always lively city below but also both Copacabana and Ipanema Beaches. And who can forget the man himself who greets even the non-believers with open arms, Christ the Redeemer. Another climb not to be missed.
We also spent a night at Hotel Fasano Rio de Janeiro. The highlight of this hotel I believe is the contemporary minimalist design and its rooftop pool lounge which is out of this world. Make sure to spend an afternoon there and have a bite to eat. The rooms are much smaller here, but purposefully smaller with minimal clutter so it is efficient calming. The corridors on the room floors have no windows and are color washed in a deep brown with one solitary La Mamma Chair and Ottoman center stage in bold orange and white stripe. It sounds weird but is a perfect study of minimalist Willie Wonka. We dined in the restaurant in the evening. The food and ambiance were 10’s across the board.
I could have stayed forever and spent each evening watching countless children and adults alike launching addictively fun LED spinners (a small invention/souvenir sold all along the beach) into the night sky and then fluttering silently back to earth sparkling against the backdrop of the black ocean water. If there was one, there was a million. The silent dance of a million points of light on the beach is unforgettably Rio.
Of all the destinations in South America Rio is a creation all its own. Alas all great things must come to a close, so it was time to catch our flight to the falls!
A short 2-hour flight carried us to the rain forest. We stayed at Hotel das Cataratas a pink Portuguese hacienda nestled inside the park and offers private viewing access to the falls before and after park hours. A hotel in the classic colonial style is just the right tone set against the backdrop of new and interesting tropical landscape.
There are 178 beautifully appointed rooms, ample manicured grounds which you share with the natives, like my friend “Phillis Armadiller” a curious Armadillo I shared a poolside afternoon with. The trees above constantly swaying inside with troops of monkeys which you almost never see (but understand from the sounds they make) lead a very busy and exciting life.
We hiked to the falls one day which were beautiful, even though as I said were at a trickle at the time.
Another marvel of nature, not to be missed - and they will not be ignored, so don’t worry you will see them - the Coati! Best described as the raccoons long nosed Southern cousin but with a personality to shame the most outgoing of people. They are adorable and fairly friendly. You are advised not pet them I assume because of disease and maybe because they would steal even your social security number if they thought it was tasty. I witnessed, as you will see in this video, the moment a baby realized he had hit the power ball jackpot in a bag of half-eaten potato chips tossed to the side of the road. The zest for life they have is quite infectious.
We also canoed the river and saw toucans and monkeys and all sorts of other animal life. The canoe had small leak, and the rising water was threatening my new sneakers so at times I may have missed a highlight or two. Note to self…when they say wear comfortable sneakers for a hike, they don’t mean new Fendi peekaboos. The only pair in existence no doubt that had to learn to close their eyes to keep out the river water.
But the night I want to tell you about, the secret meaning behind the cryptic title of this entry was one for books. The compound that is Hotel das Cataratas hides toward the back edge of the property the most authentic churrascaria. Fogo Da Chao, eat your heart out...literally.
We had my coincidental birthday dinner here at the Brazilian statehouse, a hidden gem! The decor top drawer, and the delicious taste and abundance of food has not been seen again since that night.
We stuffed our faces with meats, cheeses and deserts like tomorrow was not promised.
After dinner, one more birthday toast was in order back at the bar of the hacienda.
“Great lets walk back, find a bathroom detour and then meet up in the bar.”
It’s about 100 steps across a small stone path through a lush magically lit courtyard where the coati are performing their devious but playful dances to acquire any bits of food that may have attached to your ensemble unknowingly after such a gluttonous meal. One solitary tree with a branch extended lovingly low over the stone path says “give me swing it’s your birthday after all.”
And so, I did. I swung with the buzz of a second Caipirinha joyously. I let go, but my diamond eternity band had other ideas. Eternity must be mentioned here because what good is a diamond ring if the diamonds don’t go all the way around. And two, the eternity part will get me into trouble in just a few short weeks.
I performed a medical term that evening which I will only mention once and I will not describe in detail. I degloved my finger. A more polite way to say it is I undressed my finger of that pesky skin stuff that is just simply useless.
My first response after seeing the mess I had made was to push everything back down ring and all. It was a bit painful and gory but wrapped up it was bearable. The amazing staff insisted I get medical attention, but I wouldn’t really let them see it and refused. The rightfully persistent hotel manager said if it is not looking better in the morning we will take you to a hospital. I was not sticking around to lose my finger in a rainforest hospital. Anyway, we were leaving in the morning, and we escaped the caring manger in the cover of a dark and silent morning in the rain forest.
We made it back home with nine skinny fingers and one very fat one. It took about a month for the fat little piggy to heal completely. I should have gone to the doctor, but what can I say I’m a stubborn Italian. I had one lingering problem. The ring was a size seven and it was now on a size maternity finger. I tried to ignore it, but I was trapped literally inside my own ring.
It was time to swallow any VVS1, E colored pride I had left and head for the emergency room.
We arrived at George Washington University Hospital emergency room in the morning and quickly became a sensation at this teaching hospital. As I’m sure you know this is a hospital attached to the university so as well as healing folks, they are teaching the brightest of young students to become great doctors. I brought with myself an interesting case.
The eternity band which I begged my partner for was version 2.0 of my engagement band. It had already been biggie sized once after his first attempt. I was a great first try but he underestimated the size of my eyes.
Version 2.0 became a formidable opponent for the doctors and students. They tried the normal ring cutter contraption but the diamonds all the way around were just too tough. Quality is such a beautiful thing, but for the first time in my life a real problem.
It was a sort of Rube Goldberg device that finally claimed victory over my diamond prison. A cast saw which initially caused too much friction and was burning my finger was accompanied by a non-conductive piece of material slipped under my finger shielding me from the fire breathing teeth of the cast crusher. Also, a spray bottle of cold water was generously sprayed into the diamond mine to cool any heat that might build up.
A final thrust of the saw and the ring cracked sending at least 10 of the sparkling channel set goodies in all directions. My partners cupped hands at the ready to catch as many of the crushed carbon shooting stars as he could. I do think we found them all.
A few days later my partner, turned to me out of nowhere and said, “You’ve done this on purpose haven’t you”?
You see, he had put together that now that my ring size was three sizes larger, I would need a bigger ring and on an eternity band that means more diamonds. I take away a few lessons from this ordeal. Number one get travel insurance. This would have fixed everything much faster and with less pain. And two, don’t go to a teaching hospital if you don’t want to end up in a medical textbook looking like fool.
So, if you are looking to go “mining for diamonds” (I don’t now suggest it) or just have your heart set on glorious luxurious tropical vacation that is far from the norm, I suggest the rainforest of Brazil. Tell Phyllis I said hi!
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